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I would turn into this sweaty, stiff creature who couldn’t do anything but violently fold a cocktail straw into a sharp looking figurine. But everything changed when I realized that the better the conversation went, the more likely an in-person meeting would be suggested.“What are you doing this weekend, want to grab a drink? I could establish confidence offline and then attempt to live up to it in person.

Being out late in a noisy, overcrowded bar is not on my list of fun ways to spend time. That said, I couldn’t help but wonder: with over eight million people living in New York City, couldn’t I find one guy who was allergic to the same kind of fun that I was?Maybe there are a certain number of times you can be called “weird” when you’re young before it’s stamped onto your soul forever. I closed the app and threw my phone on the couch like it was on fire. I was so used to disappointing people in person that I thought meeting was synonymous with ruining it. Tinder was allowing me to skip the qualifying round and bypass the first date. Meeting in person was like a second date, because you had already done a lot of the preliminary vetting via text.But no matter how good I felt about myself, I couldn’t find that person on a date. Why would he want to break this perfect safe bubble? Going to meet someone who already had a sense of my personality as I saw it in private was my secret weapon.It’s not lost on me what an integral part the app has played in my life.A few years ago, if you had asked me how I met my boyfriend I would have gone red.

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