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The gist was don't go there as it will only exaggerate your sexual insecurities -get some 'lead in your pencil' and make her yours and make yourself and her believe that you all things sexual to her all of the time.I have lost shape in middle age and am married to a woman in much better sexual/physical condition so it is believable that my fantasy is symptomatic of a subconcious acceptance of a an increasing asymmetry in sexual prowess.If another guy is chasing your girl, it will put the spice back into your lives.Figure what, if any harm could be done, and take precautions to safeguard against it.
Chat rooms seem to be littered with the 'well meaning' married on the prowl for a sexual diversion. I am struggling with the same exact thoughts and feelings you have expressed. I got up enough nerve to speak with my wife about it and she was very understanding but I still don't feel right to think this way about her.
What difference does it make if a partner does it with someone else?
Is it like a car and you don't want anyone else sitting in it?
I would talk to the guy about it and leave her in the dark, she will think she is having a secret affair and immediately appear 20 years younger. From a very young age I knew I wanted my female partners to experience and have sexual relationships with my friends, and their friends.
I actually feel more comfortable in a relationship when my partner is having sex with others (both with and without my knowledge, although the signs are obvious)It has, over the years, cost me many relationships.