Healthy boundaries in dating
Unhealthy boundaries cause emotional pain that can lead to dependency, depression, anxiety, and even stress-induced physical illness.
A lack of boundaries is like leaving the door to your home unlocked: anyone, including unwelcome guests, can enter at will.
One of the most important steps in creating healthy boundaries is spending time alone with yourself – to know yourself, to love yourself, and to understand yourself.
Because just as Mandy Hale pointed out, Whether it’s the relationship you have with your partner, parents, children, friends, family, or co-workers, to create healthy boundaries, you have to give each other the space to breathe and to experience life as individuals first, and then as friends, family members, partners, etc.“Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.” ~ Kahlil Gibran But when darkness is present – when people come your way with fears, hidden agendas, or unloving intentions, confusion will take a hold of you and your vital life force energy will slowly be leaving your body.
An example of physical boundary violation: a close talker.
Your immediate and automatic reaction is to step back in order to reset your personal space.
And when boundaries get crossed, people get hurt and relationships start to get messy.
On the other hand, having too rigid boundaries can lead to isolation, like living in a locked-up castle surrounded by a mote. The easiest way to think about a boundary is a property line.
We have all seen “No Trespassing” signs, which send a clear message that if you violate that boundary, there will be a consequence.
“When you notice someone does something toxic the first time, don’t wait for the second time before you address it or cut them off.
Many survivors are used to the “wait and see” tactic which only leaves them vulnerable to a second attack.