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We’re going in alphabetical order here, so what luck to begin with the king of queens (snicker)! The whole time he was outwitting folks like Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam, or Gossamer the big orange monster (yes, that thing’s name was Gossamer for some reason), the bunny was totally playing the vixen. And from a 21st-century perspective, it’s a pretty clear calling card. I’m talking about old-school Bugs, the way he was before he had a big corporate hand jammed up his ass. There’s a whole musical number devoted to his crude, rude masculinity! Isn’t he the prettiest, most spotless and well-groomed lout you’ve ever seen? And as for that hairy chest, well, I imagine plenty of Bears out there would swoon. How many right-wing creeps are currently getting caught in public with rent boys?Yeah, let’s just get this out of the way: Bugs Bunny is gayer than strawberry cheesecake. Lest we forget, that long-eared cocktease was prone to dressing up in women’s clothing and seducing his antagonist. Plus, for such a cool customer, Bugs never had a girlfriend. Although he might have enjoyed that, because he’s gay, gay, gay. Yeah, Gaston is constantly trying to get his hands on Belle, but it’s clear he wants her as a trophy above all else, another attractive trinket he can stick in his living room along with all the dead animal scalps. In 18th-century France (or whenever the hell takes place), people didn’t even know what homosexuality was, so if you were male and liked manflesh, you damn well stayed mum about it. I’m looking at you and your perfectly plucked eyebrows.The two start making out, before Lion Reed drops to his knees and worships Topher's penis.Topher moans and writhes with pleasure, until he's ready to bend Lion over and expose his tight hole.Cesar Xes enters the mix and slides his Latino dick into Phillip Moore's hole.Before long, Topher is drilling Daniel Ptomaine while Cesar continues to plow Phillip.

To be fair, Charlie is voiced by Burt Reynolds, who I suspect a lot of straight guys would go gay for.

And Itchy is the quintessential faithful sidekick, always at Charlie’s side.

But he also spends the entire film trying to convince Charlie that the two of them should run off together and start a new life in some quiet, picturesque hideaway.

I'm twentysomething years old and I want to be a writer.

While I strive to succeed at this difficult endeavor, I tend to read lots of books, watch movies, play games, and soak in pop culture.

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